Cis- and trans-structure molecules got me thinking

I spent the entierty of my chemistry class having to hear the words cis and trans today. As a female born female, I am considered cis-priveleged. Because supposedly, I am at an advantage in which my sex matches my prescribed gender. This is said to be important despite the fact that ALL females are oppressed in ways males are not no matter what they look like on the outside or what their personal beliefs may be. There is no such thing as “cis” females having an advantage.

In terms of my chem class, those terms referred to whether or not hydrogen atoms were on the same or opposite sides of a double-bonded molecule. Yay science.

Anyways, for 50 minutes I had to look at the word cis, which is a term taken by trans and other people and placed on anyone who isn’t trans or, at least, queer.

I don’t see how changing one’s gender or sex is not putting someone at an advantage. Transsexuals are physically changing their bodies to fit into a certain and very stereotypical expression of the gender or sex of woman. Autogynephiles get off on switching genders (or sex) and are actually accepted into female spaces while they mock what we are ‘supposed’ to be. Transgenders just put on women’s clothing and claim to be women. They claim to be better women than we  real women are. Because they perform these set and oppressive gender roles forced upon us. I could only see a male-bodied person who rightfully says he is a man, wearing whatever he wants (like a skirt and heels) as being someone who is going against what the patriarchy has created. Just like the women who eschew the harmful gender roles placed onto us at birth. Trans people seem to be just trying to fit in by claiming that wearing makeup makes them a woman. Not a man who likes to wear makeup. No, they’ll never say that.

If men created these roles, of course they can perform them better.

My bedroom was pink and frilly before I had even been born in August 1995. Months before. As long as I could remember, I had family members give me Barbie dolls and Disney princess apparel. By age five my curly hair had been relaxed and straightened. I was put in ballet classes and cheerleading, although fun and athletic they are not taken seriosuly as female-dominated sports (and yes, dance is a sport!). It was never an option but to be anything but a “girly girl”. My mom and other female family members applauded and encouraged me to use makeup, wear uncomfortable, sparkly, and colorful clothing, do my hair on a regular basis, and eventually start taking an interest in boy. Male family members made it a point to tell me how “pretty” I was. One gay uncle would ask if I was wearing a bra or carrying a purse every time he saw me (still creeps me out to this day).

When I was little I did enjoy my dolls (I directed movies with them) and dress up clothes (my fav princess was Mulan, because duh), but there were many times when I would tell my mom “I just want to wear normal clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt amd tennis shoes.”

It was never an active choice to do these stereotypically girly or womanly things. I began shving because I became insecure about my body hair. I saw porn videos and read that bulllshit cosmo magazine for years during middle and high school. I heard other teenage girls bragging about how they went “fully bare” from the neck down and teenage boys insult the existence of female body hair. It wasn’t until I ignored all the external socialization that I ditched the gender roles given to me. It was the socialization that had me believing that I was just doing what girls do. The girlhood many females share.

I am not female because of these stereotypical and materialistic things. They do not define my womanhood and femaleness. These prescribed roles only prove my oppression.

I am definitely NOT privledged. It is my biological makeup that keeps me at a disadvantage. No matter how I dress myself or carry myself, I am still just a woman. No matter what I do, I am still just a woman. And I always will be. And that will always be used against me.

Let Me Slip Into Something A Little Less Comfortable

ann tagonist

In our world, “sex” means fucking. It means a man inserting his penis into a woman’s vagina until he ejaculates. After the man ejaculates, the sex is finished. Anything that precedes the man putting his penis into the woman’s vagina is referred to as “foreplay” and anything that happens after the man has ejaculated and is no longer physically able to penetrate the woman with his penis, is “afterplay.” So, for women, “having sex” is being vaginally penetrated by a man’s penis. Women are expected to “have sex” – or PIV – throughout most of their lives and aren’t really offered any alternatives. If they want to be in a relationship with a man, that man is going to expect sex and PIV is sex.

It is in this context that girls grow up so… let’s talk about sex.

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QotD on demisexuality

Anti-Porn Feminists

tbh, i find the emergence of the concept of demisexuality very interesting, and i’m partial to thinking it’s a symptom of hypersexualized patriarchal culture that demands full sexual availability of women. wanting to develop an emotional bond before having sex is actually a very common and even normative thing, yet nowadays women seem to be under so much pressure to have casual sex that they strongly identify with demisexuality to justify the limits of their sexual comfort zone.

i wonder how the idea that not wanting to have sex with people you don’t know well needs its own label might be connected with the “sex-positive” movement and its ideas of “sexual empowerment”. we’ve conceptualized being sexual (as opposed to “half-sexual”) in very strict terms and reached a point where certain sexual behaviours, such as casual sex, are not just seen as normal and accepted but actually positioned as a required…

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“Hell hath no fury like men deprived of their porn.”

Currently reading Without Apology by Jaqueline Homan. $5.99 on Amazon and well worth the read.

Some Qoutes:

In all the “debates” about removing the stigma from prostituted women by legalizing prostitution and calling it a “job”, the voices of exited women get drowned out because our realities and lived experiences collide most uncomfortably with man’s penis interests.

And these same “fine, upstanding ” men, who thought nothing of terrorizing female co-workers, often tucked their own little daughters into bed at night and kissed their wives each day before leaving for work, telling them “I love you” with no thought for the way they discriminated against and sexually harassed someone else’s daughter who was just as deserving of a good job as themselves. They had no thought about that while they raped someone else’s daughter just because she was poor and without any options. If these men love their own wives and daughters, it is a selfish and possessive kind of love; the kind of love for a toy that boosts male status, like a Lamborghini. It’s an “I love you for my benefit”, not an “I love you for your benefit.

Women have been educating men on the injustices of patriarchy for 6,000 years. It’s not like men don’t know that what they’re doing to women is wrong . They know . They always knew. They just don’t care

I could honestly post every sentence. Her analysis of poverty, prositution, abortion, trafficking, etc., and the flaws in sex-pozzie liberal and the conservative right’s arguments is amazing. Literally had to tear myself away from Kindle to post this.

Protecting Women ?

Here’s my comment on a female erotica writer’s blog. The blogger’s post in question is  called ” Unpacking The Baggage of History: Sex Work and the Myth of Protecting Women”

Me:

But isn’t the idea of a “happy hooker” not a myth as well? Prostitutes who don’t want to exit are in the minority.Also, *my* kind of feminism does not feel any sort of paternalism over prostitued people, and other kinds fully support legalization. I, however, do not. I’ve heard too many tesitmonies (straight from sex worker’s mouths) and read too many studies about how dangerous an industry it can be.But I didn’t come here to cause anything. Just my opinion.

Here is some of her post:

The phrase ‘sex trafficking’ is being used to encompass all sex work – including sex work by consenting adults with agency. It masks a very disturbing form of ‘gaslighting’ which argues that no ‘sane’ woman would agree to sex work. So all adult women who consentingly perform sex work are too brainwashed and victimized to know what they are consenting to. They have been, in fact, culturally relegated to the position of women who require the state to make decisions on their behalf because they can’t possible be freely making this decision on their own. This is as offensive and repressive as the laws and attitudes of the past in which women were thought intellectually incapable of voting or having say over their own reproductive functions.

Firstly, radfems know that feminists as a whole do not agree when it comes to sex work. Liberal feminists support sex work and find it empowering. This erotica writer, pseudonym initials RG, has lumped all feminists together when really I think she’s pointing at us. Radical feminists.

In my opinion, my comment is pretty watered down compared to the book one could write about this (and has already been written multiple times).

Now, I will mention that RG’e erotica is portrays rape, beastiality, torture, and bdsm aspects. Her approach is that she does not reach for arousal in readers, but contemplative thought. Many of her female characters crave piv and experience immemse pleasure from it (sometimes addictive), of which made it difficult for me to relate with them. I’ve read some of her books. Her writing is superb, but the subjects questionable.

But anyways, I would never want to insult any woman and say that she isn’t ‘sane’ for working in the sex industry. A lot of sex workers know. They know, okay? Ignoring their voices seems to be what sex-pozzies love to do.

The happy members of an oppressed population doesn’t make that population any less oppressed.

What others don’t understand is that radfems come from all walks of like, some having actually been a part of the sex industry. And the last thing I would do is ignore what they have to say.

Oh and, yes, I will admit. I would like to protect a fellow female if I could. What’s so wrong with that?

EDIT

Her reply to me earlier comment:

The myth of a happy hooker is about as much a myth as the happy factory worker or the happy floor cleaner. Would these people rather have better paying, more respected jobs? Yup.
Sex workers who don’t want to be sex workers should stop being sex workers. Period. And legalizing the industry will make it more likely that someone who feels coerced to do the job has some legal remedy. As an illegal industry, sex workers have no legal remedy at all.How does keeping an industry illegal make it safer? Certainly making it illegal doesn’t stop it. Sex work has been going on since the dawn of time, and it has usually been taboo or illegal within a society. How does maintaining that status quo make it safer?

She assumes that leaving the sex industry is easy.

Um, what?