Identifying versus existing

thentheysaidburnher

?identify? is a kind of a weird and pointless way to talk about what makes you female. I?ve never once thought about identifying as my actual literal physical form. It?s like saying you identifying as a brain in a meat suit with a super intelligent gut. You don?t have to acknowledge how you feel about it, it is just it. We just are. I am a woman. My relationship with gender only relates to being a woman in that gender = gender roles and those are enforced on both sexes (and often violently enforced on intersex people like having vaginal canals stretched brutally year after year from birth to accommodate a penis, thanks again to compulsory heterosexuality), but women get the inferior gender roles because men made up a whole lot of lies and excuses to control us and maintain their power.

Appearing as something does not make you something…

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On leaving the trans cult

Purple Sage

When I came out as a lesbian, it was during the time of inclusion, when more and more letters were being added to the LGBTQ alphabet soup because every sexual minority needed representation. It seemed obvious that we should include everyone—since we face ostracism ourselves we know how awful it is to be excluded. We wanted social justice, we wanted love and respect for all minorities. No matter what new letter was added to the “queer” acronym, we included them without question. I met people of all sorts during my time in university—gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, asexuals, gender fluid people, etc. I believed in us working together and gaining acceptance from straight people. During this time I also started learning about feminism. At first, the various feminist bloggers I was reading didn’t seem so different from each other. But over the last few years, we have become divided by…

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When “Equality” Trumps the Fight for the Liberation of Females

I have not posted in a long while. So obviously, I have not been writing, but instead reading and absorbing. And I think I’m better at soaking up radfem thought more so than writing my own commentary. With each day, I become more aware, more enlightened….I guess you could say. I also go through periods of being hopeful at one moment and depressed during another. Is there hope for biological females?

I now walk around, vigilant to a degree of being near paranoid, because I am painfully of what happens to females, of what happens to black females, of what could happen to me or any female dear to my heart. The odds have never been in our favor. Not for a very very long time.

With trans/gender/queer ideology, the useless cause that is choice or liberal feminism, my government trying to control my body, and the rest of the endless list of issues shaping female lives, I am incredibly frustrated. Is there a reason to have hope? I don’t know. We are being erased all over again, our lives and our truths. Just like the terrors faced decades ago by the African-American people are being faced yet again in 2015. Yes, such a progressive world we live in, when biological sex is becoming a construct and gender is becoming innate. When woman= anyone who feels like one.

Ten steps forward and 100 steps back is what it looks like.

I am a part of a fan forum for a certain recording artist. Someone asked if the song she will be releasing tomorrow is ‘feminist’. Many comments (posted by males and females alike, but mostly male fans) said that since the song was about girl power and not equality they could not call the song ‘feminist’.

My headache only grows at this point. Feminism has been trampled upon and morphed into being about ‘equality’. Equality for whom? When did it become a crime to name the culprit (males) and the victim (females)? When did feminism stop being about females? Biological females who are oppressed, tortured, ignored, impregnated, sold, bought, and killed because we are female.

Equality be damned. It is not about equality when males feel like they are being attacked when women get on their level, when women ‘grow some balls’ and try to navigate their way through life like men, AND when they feel like their male privilege is taken away in some aspect just so women can have an iota of the opportunities they have. They will never be pleased, so therefore feminism can never be about equality. It can never be about catering to men to soothe their egos and consciences while women and girls pretend like our issues dropped out of the sky rather than out of men’s minds, hands, ejaculatory ducts, and mouths.

Naming the culprit is liberating. Females need liberation. Not equality. I do not want to be equal to men in a patriarchal society. That is not the key to fixing our problems as women.

One comment claimed that feminism is inherently sexist because it makes men out to be the bad guy (newsflash: they are) and that it shouldn’t focus only on women in order to tear men down.

I weep for a movement lost. As long as radical feminism is a minority and is written off as the ‘crazy’ side of feminism, then the endless loop of equality and choice talk will continue and females as a class will go nowhere as males will only keep doing whatever they want.

Feminism =/= equality.

And btw, the song I referred to is not feminist. Libfems would call it empowering, but the song (not unusual for popular music) places value in being a ‘girl’ who is ‘pretty’. Even though it does have a tongue-in-cheek way of calling men creeps who can’t take a hint. So, there’s that….

There Is Something Wrong With You

ann tagonist

Dr Pamela Stephenson is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating sexual disorders. You would think that would mean she spends her time counseling men who like to fuck cheese and things of that nature but what Dr Stephenson actually does is write a weekly sex advice column in The Guardian where she spends most of her time trying to persuade women to lie back and think of England when they express feelings of not wanting to be fucked.

Today, a woman wrote to Dr Stephenson saying that after she has sex with a man, whether it’s a casual fling or a serious relationship, she feels disgust towards him. She states that these feelings “fade into the background” if she’s dating the man for a long time but they never fully go away. So this woman spends her relationships having sex with men who disgust her.

I’m not a sex therapist…

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Let Me Slip Into Something A Little Less Comfortable

ann tagonist

In our world, “sex” means fucking. It means a man inserting his penis into a woman’s vagina until he ejaculates. After the man ejaculates, the sex is finished. Anything that precedes the man putting his penis into the woman’s vagina is referred to as “foreplay” and anything that happens after the man has ejaculated and is no longer physically able to penetrate the woman with his penis, is “afterplay.” So, for women, “having sex” is being vaginally penetrated by a man’s penis. Women are expected to “have sex” – or PIV – throughout most of their lives and aren’t really offered any alternatives. If they want to be in a relationship with a man, that man is going to expect sex and PIV is sex.

It is in this context that girls grow up so… let’s talk about sex.

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QotD on demisexuality

Anti-Porn Feminists

tbh, i find the emergence of the concept of demisexuality very interesting, and i’m partial to thinking it’s a symptom of hypersexualized patriarchal culture that demands full sexual availability of women. wanting to develop an emotional bond before having sex is actually a very common and even normative thing, yet nowadays women seem to be under so much pressure to have casual sex that they strongly identify with demisexuality to justify the limits of their sexual comfort zone.

i wonder how the idea that not wanting to have sex with people you don’t know well needs its own label might be connected with the “sex-positive” movement and its ideas of “sexual empowerment”. we’ve conceptualized being sexual (as opposed to “half-sexual”) in very strict terms and reached a point where certain sexual behaviours, such as casual sex, are not just seen as normal and accepted but actually positioned as a required…

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