Men Think That They’re Stars

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The greatest thing a female can ever have is a man. Or so we’re told.

They tend to have the mindset that bestowing their attention upon a woman is like gifting her with life validation. My life must be incomplete, because I do not have any direct male attention. Boyfriend. Nope. Guy friend. Nope. Father. Not anymore.

My father has slandered my mother’s name to whomever he could get to listen. He claims that “the kids want their parents back together”, but my brother and I have had the most peace since he’s been out of the picture.    We don’t have to listen to someone threaten our mom’s well being and livelihood anymore.

Sadly, he stills thinks he’s done no wrong and that his apologies can make up for the last nineteen to twenty years. He’s a star, and he therefore makes my mother’s life worth meaning. It’s a male reversal, to say that she needs him. The truth is that he needs her so that he can leach off of her money and gynenergy. But those days are over, thank goodness.

No matter what a man does to a woman, he tends to walk away still feeling like she owes him. Buy you dinner? You owe me. Sell me your body? You owe me. Become pregnant by me? You owe me. Be physically harmed by me? You owe me. Get called a slut by me? You owe me.

They’re the A-listers on this red carpet. Women and girls are supposedly the accesories, backup dancers, extras, agents, assistants, cooks, baby sitters, sex slaves, and groupies. However, we will never be the directors, producers, etc. If that all makes sense.

They project their priviledges onto us, making it seem like buying dinner or a ring gives women the upper hand. They say that they do these things to earn that glorious moment when their woman spreads leg. But in reality, all roads of dealing with men lead to his penis. It’s all about his erection in the dating situations, the violent situtations, the times when you’re nothing more than a fetish. His satisfaction is the end-all-be-all of “romancing” and heterosexuality in general.

And for every ‘superficial woman’, ‘gold-digger’, ‘whore’, and ‘prude’, there are ten men pointing their fingers at her to deflect away from themselves. See?! Women are bad too. The shit they’ve done has nothing to do with patriarchal socialization created by men! We’re not so bad after all! They’re just as bad as us!

Not only are they special snowflakes–who are nothing like those other  men who rape, kill, degrade, imitate (but never duplicate), and impregnate–, they are stars. Superstars, shining bright in all their gold-star glory becaus they were nice to every woman they came across today. Sure, he might have ogled one of their asses and gone home to have a sexxay night with some porn, but he’s a good guy.

He respects the ladies. Treats them like queens. He’s got a wife and kids, as if that means something. He’s got a mother, a sister, an aunt, and a cousin. As if that means something. In the summer of 1995, he bought his pregnant girlfriend a BMW just weeks before their daughter was born! After years of assholery and abuse, the woman still owes him. Because he’s oh so special, erection and all.

He’s a star!  ★★★☆☆☆★★★

Oh and,
If I sound bitter, then #sorrynotsorry.

“Star No Star”

By Jack off Jill

I cannot distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half more than you could deceive

I watch your face on TV
All that I am turns to fear
When you’re the boy that I want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
Sew up the sore make it fake
When you’re the boy that I want
I’ll be the girl that you hate

You end up dead in the end
Star no star
You end up right here my friend
Star no star
We end up dead in the end
Star no star
We end up right here my friend
Star no star

I can not distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half you but never half me

I see your face on the street
Burnt hands but features so clear
When I’m the girl that you want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
peel all the scars from our way
When you’re the boy that I want
we will have one perfect day

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

I am so distant myself
I guess I never believed
that you could take it away
and I’d have no time to grieve

I don’t believe in TV
I don’t believe in the fear
When you are searching for stars
You will be looking right here

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

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Say what?: Tumblr screencaps and how BDSM parallels with slavery

Oh tumblr, I always find the most interesting things on you.

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Sex-pozzies claim that BDSM is not abuse, because consent is the name of the game. Consent. Consent. And more consent. I am getting tired of that word. It’s being overused and misused as much as the words ‘bullying’ and ‘freedom of speech’.

I am currently taking a global connections class and we are on the topic of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. As we all know, the slaves were treated with cruelty and as lesser than animals just like females. They were tied up, chained, whipped, gagged, raped, impregnated, forced to work, and servants to the European masters and African kings for centuries.

Now, just look up at those pictures up there. The happy bdsm servants look like slaves. Depictions of slaves in the slavery times look like the submissives that participate (or are forced to participate) in bdsm. Most of those submissives are female (and I think most naturally imagine a woman to be the sex servant) and most dominants are male. Female dominants are a red herring to my argument, b-t-dubs. We all know men get off on playing the female role, they’re typically called autogynephiles.

How can you say that someone being obviously made to act as a slave is a legitimate part of healthy sexual relationships? I am in America as a result of slaves being traded for guns, alcohol, and tobacco. Being bound, spanked, gagged, and then fucked is not sexy. It’s not agreement, consent, or trust.

Men enjoy abusing us. I’ve seen it between my own parents. I’ve seen it in porn. At school. On tv. You name it.

The idea that abuse is sexy and good for women and girls is yet another male patriarchal reversal. Bdsm is just more visual proof of our role in life and proof of how men see us. We are fuckholes. Sex slaves. Destined to be dominated by a man.

It’s total bullshit. And it is so totally abuse.

Againstpornography.org: Women’s Testimonies

My heart breaks and my stomach churns. 

Women’s Testimonies 

“I am speaking for a group of women. We all live in Minneapolis and we all are former prostitutes. All of us feel very strongly about the relationship between pornography and prostitution. Many of us wanted to testify at this hearing but are unable because of the consequences of being identified as a former whore. This is absolutely incredible to me that prostitution is seen as a victimless activity… We have started to meet together to make sense of the abuse we have experienced in prostitution and how pornography endorses and legitimizes that abuse. These are some of our stories. The following has all happened to real women who are the exception because they have survived both pornography and prostitution… One of the very first commonalities we discovered as a group: we were all introduced to prostitution through pornography. There were no exceptions in our group, and we were all under eighteen… Pornography was our textbook. We learned the tricks of the trade by men exposing us to pornography and us trying to mimic what we saw… Before I go on — one might make the assumption that if a woman got involved with pornography and prostitution after she was eighteen, that she is a willing participant. And since the women I speak for were all underage when they began, it is easier to see them as victims. Personally, I feel this to be very dangerous. By talking to women who got involved with prostitution and pornography in their early twenties, the powerlessness and victimization they described and experienced is the same that younger women and children feel… One of us had the experience of being paid by a client to go to a house located in the 6th Ward. When she got there, she found a group of physically disabled men and a group of physically abled men. Everyone was watching pornographic films — movies of men fucking women, women doing oral sex on men, and women being penetrated by animals. The movies were played continuously… [T]he able-bodied men said they were going to show the handicapped men how “real men” do it. They forced the woman to enact simultaneously with the movie… Another story is, a woman met a man in a hotel room in the 5th Ward. When she got there she was tied up while sitting on a chair nude. She was gagged and left alone in the dark for what she believed to be an hour. The man returned with two other men. They burned her with cigarettes and attached nipple clips to her breasts. They had many S and M magazines with them and showed her many pictures of women appearing to consent, enjoy, and encourage this abuse. She was held for twelve hours, continously raped and beaten… Men would constantly want to do what they have seen in pornography. If pornography was not actually in the room with the client, there would be constant reference. One example is that a woman was in a room with two clients, one man told the other that he had seen some pictures of women who had shaved their pubic hair and that it had turned him on. They then proceeded with a jackknife to remove the woman’s pubic hairs, plucking and burning what the knife had missed. They made comments of how her hairless vagina reminded them of their young daughters’ genitals. They then, of course, engaged in intercourse… Women were forced constantly to enact specific scenes that men had witnessed in pornography. They would direct women to copy postures and poses of things they had seen in magazines and then they would take their own pictures of the women… It is very amazing to me what happens when a group of ex-prostitutes get together in one room and tell stories. One of the things we discovered was that the men we had serviced were very powerful men in this community. Especially interesting to us are the amounts of men involved in the media in this community that use prostitutes and pornography. These are the same men that perpetuate the myth that Minneapolis is a clean city with exceptional morals and a high quality of life… My wish is that you could see with my eyes just for a day how clear the relationship is between pornography and the systematic abuse of women… I would also like to say that I’m petrified and scared for young women today. I believe the pornography that is published today is more brutal and dangerous than when I was involved. And because I understand clearly the direct relationship between the material and the abuse of women, I am very terrified of the consequences of what that means… I also have a couple written testimonies of women who were not able to speak tonight for the reasons I already gave. [Reading first written testimony]: “I remember a house on Second Avenue South, near 22nd Street which I was asked to go to by a trick… It turned out to be the same house that my pimp had been urging me to go to where he told me young pretty girls could go and get tied up, beaten and burned with cigarettes, and earn $500 for a short half hour’s work. I had steadily refused to go, but when my pimp found out that I had been invited, so to speak, I had to go there… The woman who ran the place actually lived there with her children. She kept a room upstairs for the tricks to use. It had a projector to show porn films and there was stacks of pornographic material in the room. The tricks would go in there, look at the porn to get psyched up and then the girl would be sent into the room. The youngest girl I know about who went there was only 13… When I went into that room, the trick said that I was almost too old, but he was pleased with me because I looked young. He stripped me, tied me up, spread-eagled, on the bed so that I could not move and then began to caress me very gently. Then, when he thought that I was relaxed, he squeezed my nipple really hard. I did not react. He held up a porn magazine with a picture of a beaten woman and said, “I want you to look like that. I want you to hurt.” He then began beating me, and when I didn’t cry fast enough, he lit a cigarette and held it right above my breast for a long time before he burned me. I told him that as God was my witness, he had better kill me or untie me right now, because if he didn’t, I would turn him in to the police and that I would call his wife and tell his family about him. He believed me and let me go. But I know that this house continued to provide that service for those who could pay…” [Reading second written testimony]: “I was the main woman of a pimp who filmed sexual acts almost every night in our home. The dope man, who supplied us with cocaine for free in exchange for these arranged orgies, was a really freaky man who would do anything. They arranged to have women, who I assumed were forced to be there, have sex with dogs and filmed those acts. There were stacks of films all over the house, which my pimp used to blackmail people with… One morning I came downstairs in time to see a very young girl run naked out of the house. I found her friend, also naked, tied up in the closet. The one who ran away, after being forced to perform sexually all night, went to the police. I don’t know what my pimp did with the other girl. I do know that he kidnapped them and felt safe, because they were foreign and alone. The girl came back with the police, but nothing ever happened. My pimp continued to make films of people doing every kind of sex act in the living room of our home…” 

We (women) are not making this up. You can’t make this stuff up. 

 

It’s not about you. Get over it.

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From tehbewilderness

Because when females deviate from the roles forced upon us, we face ridicule, rape, mansplaining, death, discrimination, slandering, blackmail, threats of violence, etc, etc, etc times a million. And it is these consequences (acts done by males) that prove all of our theories right to the hundreth power. Men hate us, whether we love them or not. They can’t imagine not having complete and total access to our bodies and energy.

Is it possible to perform the roles of being inferior, vulnerable, sexually available, or domestic because of genuine want? No. It’s a survival skill.

And don’t worry you special snowflakes out there, I’m not talking about you personally. I’m talking about males as a population. As a class. So don’t come on here on some bullshit about how happy your wife/girlfriend/whatever is. That changes nothing.

Proof: So you know it’s true

Check this out.

Women telling the truth.

The truth you ask?

Penis in vagina sex is basically unecssary to female pleasure (sex with women in general). Some quotes below:

YES. I make all the noises and do all the moving, but…honestly, it kind of hurts at first. And then it feels okay and then nothing else happens on my end. So then I am frustrated and I debate trying to find my vibrator while my boyfriend is in the bathroom but I spend so long debating that he comes out and I have to pretend to just be idly lolling around in a haze of post-coital bliss rather than figuring out how to ask if he’s sure he’s doing sex right.So yeah, glad I am not the only one
🙂

I like sex plenty, but I’m in the same boat. Need something other than p in v. And I loved this quote: “Men don’t have to have a fucking spiritual awakening to get off, so why should I have to meditate my way into an orgasm?” [As in, fuck psychological fweelings a woman may get during vaginal intercourse. See trauma-bonding]. SERIOUSLY. Why can’t I just bang my husband and orgasm without having to do twenty other things or get in a mystical mindset? I just want to freaking cum. Evolution is a bitch for making it so difficult.

I think a lot of the angry responses are from dudes who don’t want to be told that the only thing they have to offer to the world doesn’t actually do much. [Written by a male]

I think it goes deeper than that. I think it would stress anyone out to think that they are sexually inadequate in such a basic way that is so beyond their control. Like, no matter what you do, something that brings you great pleasure and intimacy is just kind of a nothing burger for the other person at best. AT BEST. Once the idea has been introduced into your mind you start to question whether your partner just does it to humor you and get it done with or if they actually enjoy it and if they don’t enjoy it why put them through this (I had this kind of existential sexual dilemma when I was 19 with my first serious GF who just didnt want to have sex after the first few months and it was shockingly an STD related issue)some of the responses are angry ego centric driven responses, But I can see this really bumming out otherwise loving and caring guys that this specific sex act just is just kind of a one sided and selfish like a BJ. [Written by a male]

I like the idea of PIV sex rather than the actual act itself. Every time I end up having it my mind wanders around like ‘what am I having for dinner?’ or something like that and my vagina always ends up super disappointed (‘oh? you’re finished…oh yeah i totally came yep totally, good job’).

Bold mine. Bold and italics are my comments.

Now there were a lot of comments of women declaring how much they love how piv feels, whether they orgasm from it or not. Of course, piv as a mandatory sexual act goes far beyond pleasure. The risks are far too high to even get pleasure from it. It has been a method amongst many to keep females inferior and as the ones who get ‘fucked’. And it has served to prove the masochistic and subordinate tendencies in females, because men know that if a woman actually wants to be fucked by a man, in this way, then obviously she is naturally a masochist.

Piv should not be on the menu unless conception is the actual goal. Which makes sense, right? One would think it would. And even for conception, a penis doesn’t have to enter the vagina, just sperm.

Again, the intimacy females feel during piv is trauma-bonding, as other radfems have already said before. Piv can get us pregnant, cause disease/std (easiesy way to catch one btw), and has been systematically used to oppress us via rape, prostitution, marriage (and now pornography). Females are groomed to see any male attention as some sort of gift, no matter how cold or disant or violent that attention is at times. If a man wants to ‘join his body with yours’ then he must luv you and care about you. You’re being intimate and bonding and making love. And if it’s just ‘casual’ piv, then she will still be deemed a whore even though males demand such sexual acts.

Is it possible that males are only supposed to have sex with females when reproduction is the sole purpose? Their bodies/genitalia only serve the purpose of ejaculating regardless of how muscely they are or how well they can hunt or fix a car or something. Funny how much lesbian and gay sex makes sense. A woman can be stimulated in every way she needs to feel recreational pleasure with another woman, as can a man with another man. Am I saying that everyone should be homosexual? No, not really.

But look at other primate species (humans are very similar to them by the way). The males and females mate typically once a year and then the males go off on their own and the females and children do their own thing alone. With the way that human females are only fertile for a little bit of time out of each month, it makes sense that piv is not supposed to be practiced at the rate it is in this patriarchal world. If it wasn’t, abortion would not be needed, nor would the pill, the iud, diaphragm,etc. Of course, females need these because of how much men and boys rape us, and still probably would as long as males are like this. And who knows if males are wired to do such violence within their biological makeup? They could very well be. That y-chromosome is a tricky one, but oh so predictable.

Anyways, the point of all this is to just give my own little analysis of piv. Running across that article above got me thinking.

Comments are much appreciated. (If you can be decent and not-rude about it.)

Grand Theft Auto

Grabd Theft Auto V, released this year, has tons of misgynist aspects.

My brother and I like to play video games. It’s kind of a bonding thing for us. But if a game portrays the degredation and harm of women  (aside of from all the homicide in general) I voice my opinion until my younger sibling’s ears fall off. And gladly.

In GTA, a player can go to a strip club in which a stripper repeatedly says that “stipping sucks” and that she “only does it for the money” whilst giving the in-game character a lap dance. Her name is Chastity, which is supposed to a be a cute irony.

If the stripper likes you enough (as in if you can make it rain enough) she will provide the use of her body back at her place. Not surprising, but I found this to be terribly disturbing. Also a total male fantasy. Most strippers wouldn’t even want the pervy males to lay a hand on them in real life.

And even worse, or just as bad, the player can pick up a prostitute on the side of the road and take her to a secluded spot so she will either provide oral sex or the use of her internal reproductive organ (her vagina). And the happy, saccharine voices these female voice actors use is sickening. Because in real life, sex ‘workers’ must be just as good an actor, and grin and bear it or face often fatal consequences.

I’ve been reading a lot of prostitution critique for my inquiry paper on feminism. And it’s depressing as well as refreshingly truthful.

Sometimes it’s too much to take in. I hate, hate , hate what females must go through and have gone through for so long. It breaks my heart and inspires me to go on with every written word.

I’m currently surfing whatispatriarchy.tumblr.com

Some mostly great stuff. Check it out.

Yay tumblr

gynocraticgrrl:
For those questioning the legitimacy of ‘male privilege’.”Male Violence & Male Privilege,” by Dick Bathrick and Gus Kaufman, Jr., Ph.D.

“Male violence and male abuse of power are undeniable facts of our lives. Their effects are felt by women, children and other men with less power on* [this] earth. We will be examining in particular male violence against women, situating it within the context of male privilege.To look at male violence against women, it may be instructive to start with rape. Male rape of women is male violence against women in one of its most devastating forms. It involves the total violation of a woman’s body, mind and spirit. And when we listen to and take victims seriously, we know that its effects are debilitating long after the act itself.What is almost as horrifying as rape is how normative it is in our culture: one in 2.5 women is a victim of sexual assault in her lifetime. 1 in 3 females is sexually abused before the age 18. In a 1988 survey of 1,700 Rhode Island junior high school students, a quarter of the boys and a sixth of the girls said that a man has the right to have sex with a woman without asking, as long as he has spent money on her. A majority of the boys and a near majority of the girls said that it’s permissible for a man to force sex on a woman if the couple has dated for six months.Historically, the cultural response to rape has been to ask questions like, “What was she wearing?”, “Where was she walking?, “What did she do to stop it?”. Now, battered and raped women are requiring us to label victim-blaming for what it is and to see how victim-blaming relieves us from asking more disturbing questions like, “Who is doing this to women?” And why?”One reason it’s difficult for men to answer these questions is because it threatens to lessen the distance between us and “those other guys” who brutalize women. When we first began working with men who batter women, we kept waiting for the monster to come through the door. Seven years later, we’re still waiting. Most of the men we’ve seen, whether self-referred or mandated by the courts or the military, seem normal to most of the people who know them. They just happen to be committing criminal offenses at home.FBI crime statistics tell us that close to 40% of all men living intimately with women have battered their partners during the course of the relationship. By “battering” we mean the use of and repeated threat of physical force to dominate and control a woman. From this definition and these statistics, we might conclude that battering is “normal” behavior in this culture. 75% to 90% of rapes are committed by male acquaintances: family members, co-workers, classmates, dates, boyfriends, husbands. Battering and rape aren’t, as many of us would prefer it, being committed by pathological freaks. Women are most often victimized by men they once trusted and loved. Why?”The answers that generally mean most to the men going through our program include the following: Men batter women because, in the short term, it works; i.e., the violence temporarily stops a woman from doing what threatens or challenges our authority. Men batter women because they can get away with it. Until recently, men could batter women without experiencing consequences such as her leaving or their arrest, prosecution, conviction and sentencing. Most men know that no matter who starts the fight, they can generally overpower a woman. And finally, men have been socialized to believe we have the right and the privilege to dominate and control women. Physical force (battering and rape) are the extremes to which we resort if necessary to maintain that control. When we say men batter because they can get away with it and it “works,” we are describing some of the workings of patriarchy, a system of male control over women, a system of male privilege.”

Via whatispatriarchy.tumblr.com

You know its bad (and true) when even yhe menz say so.

And here are some screenshots from tumblr:

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