Segregated via Socialization

I’m currently waiting to enter my next class. In front of me, a door opens to another lecture hall, all full of males. It’s probably some higher level math or science course. Males have made it so that they dominate those fields, meanwhile discouriging women from wanting pursue such areas of education.

I’m a pre-nursing major (for now). And there is only a handful of males in the corresponding chemistry course for aspiring nursing majors. My biology class is mostly female, and so was algebra last semester.

Not often, or ever, do I hear of a female engineer or chemist. Female game developers are far and few between, and also discriminated against.

Women and girls are purposefully underestimated. Have been for centuries (millenia, if you count how long the patriarchy has been in place). We are socialized to be seen as inferior, to be inferior. And that is reflected in schools everywhere. If it’s not traditionally seen as woman’s work, then women don’t participate often. But there are men in just about every career and sport.

I am debating between becoming a nurse-midwife or a nurse-anesthetist. One assists women during pregnancy and childbirth (and has such a long, brave history) and the other is career in which I assist people before and after major surgeries, dental care, etc. Both pay well (and yes, money matters to me, living in this world) but I don’t know which will be the job I can wake up to every morning and be happy.

Going into actual, full-fledged adulthood, I just want to be happy, or more so content. Ever since I found radical feminism, I walk around with a critical eye and proceed with caution. I can’t unsee what I’ve learned to spot out. And with midwifery, practically a female-specific career, I will be actively helping females go through something that is specific to our bodies, and ours alone. No medical interventions, no sterile hospital room, no morgue six stories below the labor and ‘delivery’ floor (qouted because you can’t really deliver someone else’s baby, I don’t believe). I actually hate hospitals for childbrith. A place where people suffer, and oftentimes do not get better, is not the place to welcome life.

But I digress. I saw a room full of dudes and felt some type of way (see: frustrated). Made me want to blog.

Please excuse any typos.

Men Think That They’re Stars

image

The greatest thing a female can ever have is a man. Or so we’re told.

They tend to have the mindset that bestowing their attention upon a woman is like gifting her with life validation. My life must be incomplete, because I do not have any direct male attention. Boyfriend. Nope. Guy friend. Nope. Father. Not anymore.

My father has slandered my mother’s name to whomever he could get to listen. He claims that “the kids want their parents back together”, but my brother and I have had the most peace since he’s been out of the picture.    We don’t have to listen to someone threaten our mom’s well being and livelihood anymore.

Sadly, he stills thinks he’s done no wrong and that his apologies can make up for the last nineteen to twenty years. He’s a star, and he therefore makes my mother’s life worth meaning. It’s a male reversal, to say that she needs him. The truth is that he needs her so that he can leach off of her money and gynenergy. But those days are over, thank goodness.

No matter what a man does to a woman, he tends to walk away still feeling like she owes him. Buy you dinner? You owe me. Sell me your body? You owe me. Become pregnant by me? You owe me. Be physically harmed by me? You owe me. Get called a slut by me? You owe me.

They’re the A-listers on this red carpet. Women and girls are supposedly the accesories, backup dancers, extras, agents, assistants, cooks, baby sitters, sex slaves, and groupies. However, we will never be the directors, producers, etc. If that all makes sense.

They project their priviledges onto us, making it seem like buying dinner or a ring gives women the upper hand. They say that they do these things to earn that glorious moment when their woman spreads leg. But in reality, all roads of dealing with men lead to his penis. It’s all about his erection in the dating situations, the violent situtations, the times when you’re nothing more than a fetish. His satisfaction is the end-all-be-all of “romancing” and heterosexuality in general.

And for every ‘superficial woman’, ‘gold-digger’, ‘whore’, and ‘prude’, there are ten men pointing their fingers at her to deflect away from themselves. See?! Women are bad too. The shit they’ve done has nothing to do with patriarchal socialization created by men! We’re not so bad after all! They’re just as bad as us!

Not only are they special snowflakes–who are nothing like those other  men who rape, kill, degrade, imitate (but never duplicate), and impregnate–, they are stars. Superstars, shining bright in all their gold-star glory becaus they were nice to every woman they came across today. Sure, he might have ogled one of their asses and gone home to have a sexxay night with some porn, but he’s a good guy.

He respects the ladies. Treats them like queens. He’s got a wife and kids, as if that means something. He’s got a mother, a sister, an aunt, and a cousin. As if that means something. In the summer of 1995, he bought his pregnant girlfriend a BMW just weeks before their daughter was born! After years of assholery and abuse, the woman still owes him. Because he’s oh so special, erection and all.

He’s a star!  ★★★☆☆☆★★★

Oh and,
If I sound bitter, then #sorrynotsorry.

“Star No Star”

By Jack off Jill

I cannot distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half more than you could deceive

I watch your face on TV
All that I am turns to fear
When you’re the boy that I want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
Sew up the sore make it fake
When you’re the boy that I want
I’ll be the girl that you hate

You end up dead in the end
Star no star
You end up right here my friend
Star no star
We end up dead in the end
Star no star
We end up right here my friend
Star no star

I can not distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half you but never half me

I see your face on the street
Burnt hands but features so clear
When I’m the girl that you want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
peel all the scars from our way
When you’re the boy that I want
we will have one perfect day

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

I am so distant myself
I guess I never believed
that you could take it away
and I’d have no time to grieve

I don’t believe in TV
I don’t believe in the fear
When you are searching for stars
You will be looking right here

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

Proof: So you know it’s true

Check this out.

Women telling the truth.

The truth you ask?

Penis in vagina sex is basically unecssary to female pleasure (sex with women in general). Some quotes below:

YES. I make all the noises and do all the moving, but…honestly, it kind of hurts at first. And then it feels okay and then nothing else happens on my end. So then I am frustrated and I debate trying to find my vibrator while my boyfriend is in the bathroom but I spend so long debating that he comes out and I have to pretend to just be idly lolling around in a haze of post-coital bliss rather than figuring out how to ask if he’s sure he’s doing sex right.So yeah, glad I am not the only one
🙂

I like sex plenty, but I’m in the same boat. Need something other than p in v. And I loved this quote: “Men don’t have to have a fucking spiritual awakening to get off, so why should I have to meditate my way into an orgasm?” [As in, fuck psychological fweelings a woman may get during vaginal intercourse. See trauma-bonding]. SERIOUSLY. Why can’t I just bang my husband and orgasm without having to do twenty other things or get in a mystical mindset? I just want to freaking cum. Evolution is a bitch for making it so difficult.

I think a lot of the angry responses are from dudes who don’t want to be told that the only thing they have to offer to the world doesn’t actually do much. [Written by a male]

I think it goes deeper than that. I think it would stress anyone out to think that they are sexually inadequate in such a basic way that is so beyond their control. Like, no matter what you do, something that brings you great pleasure and intimacy is just kind of a nothing burger for the other person at best. AT BEST. Once the idea has been introduced into your mind you start to question whether your partner just does it to humor you and get it done with or if they actually enjoy it and if they don’t enjoy it why put them through this (I had this kind of existential sexual dilemma when I was 19 with my first serious GF who just didnt want to have sex after the first few months and it was shockingly an STD related issue)some of the responses are angry ego centric driven responses, But I can see this really bumming out otherwise loving and caring guys that this specific sex act just is just kind of a one sided and selfish like a BJ. [Written by a male]

I like the idea of PIV sex rather than the actual act itself. Every time I end up having it my mind wanders around like ‘what am I having for dinner?’ or something like that and my vagina always ends up super disappointed (‘oh? you’re finished…oh yeah i totally came yep totally, good job’).

Bold mine. Bold and italics are my comments.

Now there were a lot of comments of women declaring how much they love how piv feels, whether they orgasm from it or not. Of course, piv as a mandatory sexual act goes far beyond pleasure. The risks are far too high to even get pleasure from it. It has been a method amongst many to keep females inferior and as the ones who get ‘fucked’. And it has served to prove the masochistic and subordinate tendencies in females, because men know that if a woman actually wants to be fucked by a man, in this way, then obviously she is naturally a masochist.

Piv should not be on the menu unless conception is the actual goal. Which makes sense, right? One would think it would. And even for conception, a penis doesn’t have to enter the vagina, just sperm.

Again, the intimacy females feel during piv is trauma-bonding, as other radfems have already said before. Piv can get us pregnant, cause disease/std (easiesy way to catch one btw), and has been systematically used to oppress us via rape, prostitution, marriage (and now pornography). Females are groomed to see any male attention as some sort of gift, no matter how cold or disant or violent that attention is at times. If a man wants to ‘join his body with yours’ then he must luv you and care about you. You’re being intimate and bonding and making love. And if it’s just ‘casual’ piv, then she will still be deemed a whore even though males demand such sexual acts.

Is it possible that males are only supposed to have sex with females when reproduction is the sole purpose? Their bodies/genitalia only serve the purpose of ejaculating regardless of how muscely they are or how well they can hunt or fix a car or something. Funny how much lesbian and gay sex makes sense. A woman can be stimulated in every way she needs to feel recreational pleasure with another woman, as can a man with another man. Am I saying that everyone should be homosexual? No, not really.

But look at other primate species (humans are very similar to them by the way). The males and females mate typically once a year and then the males go off on their own and the females and children do their own thing alone. With the way that human females are only fertile for a little bit of time out of each month, it makes sense that piv is not supposed to be practiced at the rate it is in this patriarchal world. If it wasn’t, abortion would not be needed, nor would the pill, the iud, diaphragm,etc. Of course, females need these because of how much men and boys rape us, and still probably would as long as males are like this. And who knows if males are wired to do such violence within their biological makeup? They could very well be. That y-chromosome is a tricky one, but oh so predictable.

Anyways, the point of all this is to just give my own little analysis of piv. Running across that article above got me thinking.

Comments are much appreciated. (If you can be decent and not-rude about it.)

On choosing a career.

(Wrote this months ago, but it never got published for some reason. Not really finished, but oh well.)

At one point, back during my junior year of high school, I wanted to be become a gynecologist. That is, before I realized who wholly unnnecessary the practice is and how it perpetuates the ides that there is always something wrong with the female body.

I really considered being an ob/gyn. But I soon realized via some google seaching that female bodily functions are seen as illnesses to be cured.

↓ Insert the voice of the patriarchy.

Preganant? Let’s drug you up and/or cut you open for a lack of good reasons and risk further complication. Baby in breech? No way can you birth a baby feet first! You better get that c-section.. . . for the baby.

Menstruating? Take some harmful hormonal birth control pills to regulate that bloody mess! If men don’t do it, why should you, you freak of nature? We don’t trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die (but we’ll sure as hell fuck it).

Breastfeeding? Cover that up or else the big T (testoterone) will feel jelly that your breasts aren’t just for us and our erections. Formula is so much better anyway.

-End the voice of patriarchy-

I have decided to become a midwife. It’s a lost practice but now steadily on the rise again. As I have mentioned before, I am now a nursing major and will go to grad school for midwifery. It’s hella difficult to become a midwife out the gate, but being a certified nurse midwife is a tad less complicated as one can work in more states due to her direct medical background.

Natural births are the way a birth is supposed to be unless there is an actual serious complication. There are techniques that can subside pain (but honestly, it’s childbirth. Pain is to be expected.) And, of course, a baby can be born feet first with no problem.

Midwives can work in hospitals, but I have vowed to never work in a hospital. Welcoming life in a place where there consists major surgery, death, psychosis, and a morgue in the basement creeps me out. Therefore, I’d like to work in a birthing center or do home births where there isn’t a multitude of IVs stressing the mother out, of which can the baby in distress, leading to intervention. Nor will the mother be strapped down to a bed.

Thankfully, more and more women are going to midwives and doulas for attention during their pregnancies and time postpartum.

Anyone can be a woman!!!1!1!!

(My longest post yet. I apologize for typos or grammatical errors in advance)

Anyone can be a woman.

NO THEY CAN NOT!!!!!!!!

To say that anyone can be a woman, whether born with XX or XY chromosomes, is to say that biological females do not exist. Women and girls are not a biological species of their own within the genus species Homo sapiens in the eyes of the male-to-females? This is simply, and entirely, and frustratingly false.

The human population often forgets that we too are animals, mammals to be specific. And even more specifically, we are a primate species. Our enormous brain capacities and intelligence have gotten the best of us, or the worst. Majority of what we see the world to be, from our human perspective, is just that. Only from our perspective. To the thousands of other species on the planet, the world as we see it does not exist. Our thoughts, civilizations, religion, medicine, law, social constructs, and whining over every goddamn thing is obsolete to every other living thing on the planet.

Humans are not the chosen ones, as perhaps many religions and people in general believe. We are animals just like everybody else, a species on earth that should be thankful to be here because we could have been extinct by now or lacking the bipedality and large brains that have gotten us this far in the past hundreds of thousands of years.

Just like all other living things, we cannot escape what nature naturally defines. We cannot control weather, time, or basic biology. And by basic biology, I mean  whether or not an animal (or insect, or reptile, or whatever) is either born or hatched as a male or female being. It simply is what it is.

Females XX become pregant, menstruate (mammals), and give birth.

Females (humans) have the following body parts and functions from some point in the womb, to birth, to puberty, and until their bodies decay into and fertilize the earth (I will try to include everything):
-tissue filled breasts, as aquired during adolescence
-vulva– including the clitoris, labia majora, labia minora, urethra, pubic mound, pubic hair, and vaginal opening (sperm can come in contact with the vulva and cause impegnation once it travels to the uterus)
-clioris (hood, head, 4 inches continuing within the body)
-vagina (birth canal, passage for menses) (all other uses of the vagina are not natural to biology and are obsolete to nature) (penetration by a penis is possible but not necessary for impregnantion)
-uterus (lining is repaced monthly and can gestate a fetus for 9-10 months)
-fallopian tubes
-two ovaries
-eggs within the ovaries, from birth to death
-ability to become pregnant (but not garunteed)
-lubrication of the vagina and vulva upon arousal
-clitoral erection upon arousal
-daily discharge of the vagina and form of lubrication/smegma around the clitoris
-milk in the breasts during and after pregnancy (biologically intended for infants to be nourished and all other uses of breats or milk in the breats are obsolete to nature)
-menses in uterus to be released monthly

These are biological facts only known to female XX living beings and never to males. Any beings with these parts and functions are deemed and rightfully concluded to be female.

This applies to all reproductive species.

Now, among us humans, the female half has been oppressed, and this has nothing to do with nature (besides the y chromosome possibly being a danger). The roles we have been assigned, such as weakness/inferiority, beauty practices, heavy emotions, enthusiastic motherhood, certain clothing designs, long hair, wanton, pure,.inadequate in academics, etc, have all been constructed in male human brains to be put into the exterior and forced upon female XX human beings since patriarchal systems came into play. And if a female is to deviate from these roles then she is not a true female in the eyes of patriarchy.

Males XY impregnate females XX.

Males have the following body parts and functions from some point in the womb, to birth, to puberty, and until their bodies decay into and fertilize the earth (I will try to include everything):
-penis (head, urethra, shaft, foreskin, smegma of the foreskin) (biologically intended to serve as a releaser of sperm as a means of reproduction and possibly penetrate the vagina for that purpose, all other purposes are obolete to nature)
-testicles (intended for holding sperm and semen, all other uses are obsolete to nature)
-sperm (each consisting of a sex cell from either the male’s maternal X or paternal Y parent) and semen in the testicles
-prostate
-ejaculation of sperm and semen (biologically intended to achive conception within the female’s uterus and then fertilize the egg, all other purposes are obsolete to nature)

These  are biological facts only known to male XY beings and never to females. Any being with these parts and functions are deemed and rightfully concluded to be male.

This applies to all reproductive species.

In the patriarchal society we live in, males have the freedom and have given themselves the power to do whatever they want, specifically to females. They have given themselves the roles of being superior, strong, emotionally stoic, agressive, piv-centric, penetration-obssesed, objectifying to females and acceptably only females, little enthusiastic fatherhood, loose-fitting clothing, comfortable clothing, minimal beauty practices, shorter hair, etc, and are not supposed to deviate from these roles if they are true males. Males XY invented this schema as well as the one for female persons. And now, it is being off as a part the natural way of things, or nature.

This is not true.

Just like race, religion, law, sexual orientation, civiliation vs savage, etc, gender is a socially constructed idea in the male-run world. All that has been created in the male mind has been done so to benefit he, himself, and his fellow males. Biology and sex (not gender) can not and never will be a social construct. What is in nature cannot be changed, no matter how humans try to manipulate it. Like the weather or the natural appearance of the world, male humans try to bend it to an uncomfortable shape. The shape they are trying to bend sex into is uncomfortable for females, as we are made to be obsolete in nature, when in nature, we are the opposite, we exist as an non-erasable group. Males have tried and again try to lessen the importance of what it means to be female, woman, girl from conception to death.

Stop trying to make gender happen.

Stop trying to say that anyone can be a woman, when no such thing is said about a man.

If you stand up and say you are a woman, check your genitalia and sex-specific processes first. Most likely, if you have to prove what you believe yourself to be through stereotypes and harmful social constructs, then you are not what you say you are.

I do not, as an African-American, have to prove I am black or descended from somwhere in Africa through my actions. I simply am. I was born with a skin pigment that says it all to whomever looks at me. I do not have to be ghetto, loud, illiterate, bound in chains, nappy-headed, uneducated, weave-wearing, chicken-obsessed, dialect-speaking, etc, to be deemed and rightfully concluded to be a human of direct African lineage. My brain does not work differently than those who are of a different heritage or skin color from me. I may think of different things, such as: Will I get the job I want or will my skin color prevent that? Is this police about to pull me over, because this is a nice car I’ve got and it doesn’t look like it’s mine? Oh goodness, am I the only black person in this whole class? Martin Luther King or Malcolm X? When will (insert somebody a nlack personn knows) get out of jail? Will my white master violate me again? Will my white master whip me again? Trayvon Martin? Obama?!

Note that I have exaggerated a bit, but not by much.

And the same goes for any other human in a certain group by sex, skin pigment, sexuality, nationality, beliefs, etc. There is not much biological difference between humans at all, such as genetic diveristy. But sex is one way to categorize homo sapiens. For we have females and males (and intersex, wjo can be determined to be one or the other), and there is some sexual dimophism, but no large differences besides roles in reproduction and the appearance of our genitalia.

And with females we have brains not very different from males, if different at all. We may think of things such as: Oh no! Am I pregant?!!!!! When is my period coming on this month? Birth control, IUD, or just wing it? I should be a lesbian…right? Cause it’d be so much easier, right? Should I walk to my car alone? Should I go to the bathroom alone? Is he going to rape me? Will I raped today? Will I be kidnapped and raped today? Will I be kidnapped, raped and killed today? Should I go out in the dark alone? No, really, am I pregnant?! My breasts are sore…

Again, slight exaggeration, but not really. Not really, at all. Males don’t think like this. He may think about makeup, hair, clothes, and emotions, and other “female” assigned things. But this does not a female human make. He just is devaiting from the false gender roles assigned to him by his own fellow males. And the same goes for a female who does not have traditionally “female” thoughts. Because I do not think that many females do.

Humans wish for many things. We wish for a higher being who loves us so, eternal youth, immortality, freedom, money, to be skinny/hot/worthy of affection, and even to become what we are not, such as the opposite sex. But if there is a Y in you chromosomal makeup then you are not a female/woman/girl amd never will be, sorry. The same goes for humans with only X, you cannot be a male. And no matter how much you think you can escape female reality by transitioning or are truly a male at heart, you cannot and never will be. I am sorry for this. Truly.

Just like some will go through leaps and bounds to be skinny and pefect, or asthetically beautiful. I have in the past (regretably) wished to not be a size 12 or even black. But there is no such thing as magic.

And if you are so unhappy and not okay with the way you were born, then that is a tragedy. Because we cannot change where we came from, our natural male or female bodies, or the color of our skin (not to be mistaken with race). Going to extremes to carry out what it stereotypically means to be a woman (tits,pussy, ass, and makeup) or a man (freedom, emotionally blank, tough) does nothing but carry on a minstrel shown as a way of life and harms those that were born female or male, especially females as we already have our identities, thoughts, rights, free will, lives, and basic bodily autonomy stolen from us every second of every day.

So no, you are a man who prefers the traditionally non-male things in life. Take that issue up with your fellow men. And stop making a mockery of my reality, one that I will never escape, but you can leave any time damned well please.