Segregated via Socialization

I’m currently waiting to enter my next class. In front of me, a door opens to another lecture hall, all full of males. It’s probably some higher level math or science course. Males have made it so that they dominate those fields, meanwhile discouriging women from wanting pursue such areas of education.

I’m a pre-nursing major (for now). And there is only a handful of males in the corresponding chemistry course for aspiring nursing majors. My biology class is mostly female, and so was algebra last semester.

Not often, or ever, do I hear of a female engineer or chemist. Female game developers are far and few between, and also discriminated against.

Women and girls are purposefully underestimated. Have been for centuries (millenia, if you count how long the patriarchy has been in place). We are socialized to be seen as inferior, to be inferior. And that is reflected in schools everywhere. If it’s not traditionally seen as woman’s work, then women don’t participate often. But there are men in just about every career and sport.

I am debating between becoming a nurse-midwife or a nurse-anesthetist. One assists women during pregnancy and childbirth (and has such a long, brave history) and the other is career in which I assist people before and after major surgeries, dental care, etc. Both pay well (and yes, money matters to me, living in this world) but I don’t know which will be the job I can wake up to every morning and be happy.

Going into actual, full-fledged adulthood, I just want to be happy, or more so content. Ever since I found radical feminism, I walk around with a critical eye and proceed with caution. I can’t unsee what I’ve learned to spot out. And with midwifery, practically a female-specific career, I will be actively helping females go through something that is specific to our bodies, and ours alone. No medical interventions, no sterile hospital room, no morgue six stories below the labor and ‘delivery’ floor (qouted because you can’t really deliver someone else’s baby, I don’t believe). I actually hate hospitals for childbrith. A place where people suffer, and oftentimes do not get better, is not the place to welcome life.

But I digress. I saw a room full of dudes and felt some type of way (see: frustrated). Made me want to blog.

Please excuse any typos.

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Men Think That They’re Stars

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The greatest thing a female can ever have is a man. Or so we’re told.

They tend to have the mindset that bestowing their attention upon a woman is like gifting her with life validation. My life must be incomplete, because I do not have any direct male attention. Boyfriend. Nope. Guy friend. Nope. Father. Not anymore.

My father has slandered my mother’s name to whomever he could get to listen. He claims that “the kids want their parents back together”, but my brother and I have had the most peace since he’s been out of the picture.    We don’t have to listen to someone threaten our mom’s well being and livelihood anymore.

Sadly, he stills thinks he’s done no wrong and that his apologies can make up for the last nineteen to twenty years. He’s a star, and he therefore makes my mother’s life worth meaning. It’s a male reversal, to say that she needs him. The truth is that he needs her so that he can leach off of her money and gynenergy. But those days are over, thank goodness.

No matter what a man does to a woman, he tends to walk away still feeling like she owes him. Buy you dinner? You owe me. Sell me your body? You owe me. Become pregnant by me? You owe me. Be physically harmed by me? You owe me. Get called a slut by me? You owe me.

They’re the A-listers on this red carpet. Women and girls are supposedly the accesories, backup dancers, extras, agents, assistants, cooks, baby sitters, sex slaves, and groupies. However, we will never be the directors, producers, etc. If that all makes sense.

They project their priviledges onto us, making it seem like buying dinner or a ring gives women the upper hand. They say that they do these things to earn that glorious moment when their woman spreads leg. But in reality, all roads of dealing with men lead to his penis. It’s all about his erection in the dating situations, the violent situtations, the times when you’re nothing more than a fetish. His satisfaction is the end-all-be-all of “romancing” and heterosexuality in general.

And for every ‘superficial woman’, ‘gold-digger’, ‘whore’, and ‘prude’, there are ten men pointing their fingers at her to deflect away from themselves. See?! Women are bad too. The shit they’ve done has nothing to do with patriarchal socialization created by men! We’re not so bad after all! They’re just as bad as us!

Not only are they special snowflakes–who are nothing like those other  men who rape, kill, degrade, imitate (but never duplicate), and impregnate–, they are stars. Superstars, shining bright in all their gold-star glory becaus they were nice to every woman they came across today. Sure, he might have ogled one of their asses and gone home to have a sexxay night with some porn, but he’s a good guy.

He respects the ladies. Treats them like queens. He’s got a wife and kids, as if that means something. He’s got a mother, a sister, an aunt, and a cousin. As if that means something. In the summer of 1995, he bought his pregnant girlfriend a BMW just weeks before their daughter was born! After years of assholery and abuse, the woman still owes him. Because he’s oh so special, erection and all.

He’s a star!  ★★★☆☆☆★★★

Oh and,
If I sound bitter, then #sorrynotsorry.

“Star No Star”

By Jack off Jill

I cannot distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half more than you could deceive

I watch your face on TV
All that I am turns to fear
When you’re the boy that I want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
Sew up the sore make it fake
When you’re the boy that I want
I’ll be the girl that you hate

You end up dead in the end
Star no star
You end up right here my friend
Star no star
We end up dead in the end
Star no star
We end up right here my friend
Star no star

I can not distance myself
You were the one who believed
that only half of a girl
half you but never half me

I see your face on the street
Burnt hands but features so clear
When I’m the girl that you want
I will be waiting right here

I don’t know what to believe
peel all the scars from our way
When you’re the boy that I want
we will have one perfect day

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

I am so distant myself
I guess I never believed
that you could take it away
and I’d have no time to grieve

I don’t believe in TV
I don’t believe in the fear
When you are searching for stars
You will be looking right here

You end up dead in the end
Star no Star
You end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up dead in the end
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star
We end up right here my friend
Star no Star

I’m taking a Women’s and Gender Studies class next semester

And I’m scared of how much I’ll hate it. But the professor is a female, so that should make it more tolerable (or heartbreaking/frustrating if she has libfem/possibly not even feminist mentality).

Modern dance (dancer since five yrs ols) didn’t fit with my busy nursing schedule and ballet is too rigid to be doing for an hour and fifteen minutes straight imo. So women’s and gender studies it is.

But hey, classes can be dropped.

Yet another post y’all

I’m on a roll right?

But anyways. If you are a male, GET THE FUCK OUT! UNFOLLOW ME NOW BEFORE I HURT YOUR DUDELY FEELINGS!

I have no idea why these males (all white) are following blog.

I am an atheist African-American female FAAB (with some Native American in me) who is a radical feminist.

We DO NOT see eye-to-eye and history gives me all kinds of rights to advise you to gtfo of my blog.

Like seriously, this is utterly depressing. Majority of my followers are male now. Wtf? This is not what I had planned. Far from it.

So click that unfollow button and leave me and my words alone, you super priveledged men!

Fucking trolls. . .

Grand Theft Auto

Grabd Theft Auto V, released this year, has tons of misgynist aspects.

My brother and I like to play video games. It’s kind of a bonding thing for us. But if a game portrays the degredation and harm of women  (aside of from all the homicide in general) I voice my opinion until my younger sibling’s ears fall off. And gladly.

In GTA, a player can go to a strip club in which a stripper repeatedly says that “stipping sucks” and that she “only does it for the money” whilst giving the in-game character a lap dance. Her name is Chastity, which is supposed to a be a cute irony.

If the stripper likes you enough (as in if you can make it rain enough) she will provide the use of her body back at her place. Not surprising, but I found this to be terribly disturbing. Also a total male fantasy. Most strippers wouldn’t even want the pervy males to lay a hand on them in real life.

And even worse, or just as bad, the player can pick up a prostitute on the side of the road and take her to a secluded spot so she will either provide oral sex or the use of her internal reproductive organ (her vagina). And the happy, saccharine voices these female voice actors use is sickening. Because in real life, sex ‘workers’ must be just as good an actor, and grin and bear it or face often fatal consequences.

I’ve been reading a lot of prostitution critique for my inquiry paper on feminism. And it’s depressing as well as refreshingly truthful.

Sometimes it’s too much to take in. I hate, hate , hate what females must go through and have gone through for so long. It breaks my heart and inspires me to go on with every written word.

I’m currently surfing whatispatriarchy.tumblr.com

Some mostly great stuff. Check it out.

I’m an atheist.

Leaning towards beliving in a Goddess or just believing in the fact that we are all from the stars.

Just saying this to a certain someone who followed my blog or to anyone else who does not get what I am about.

And I think the bible is mere historical fiction writen my white men to control the masses and to keep women subordinate. In other words, it’s a phoney pot of fairytale magic lies.

Just saying. . .

So please unfollow me.