Segregated via Socialization

I’m currently waiting to enter my next class. In front of me, a door opens to another lecture hall, all full of males. It’s probably some higher level math or science course. Males have made it so that they dominate those fields, meanwhile discouriging women from wanting pursue such areas of education.

I’m a pre-nursing major (for now). And there is only a handful of males in the corresponding chemistry course for aspiring nursing majors. My biology class is mostly female, and so was algebra last semester.

Not often, or ever, do I hear of a female engineer or chemist. Female game developers are far and few between, and also discriminated against.

Women and girls are purposefully underestimated. Have been for centuries (millenia, if you count how long the patriarchy has been in place). We are socialized to be seen as inferior, to be inferior. And that is reflected in schools everywhere. If it’s not traditionally seen as woman’s work, then women don’t participate often. But there are men in just about every career and sport.

I am debating between becoming a nurse-midwife or a nurse-anesthetist. One assists women during pregnancy and childbirth (and has such a long, brave history) and the other is career in which I assist people before and after major surgeries, dental care, etc. Both pay well (and yes, money matters to me, living in this world) but I don’t know which will be the job I can wake up to every morning and be happy.

Going into actual, full-fledged adulthood, I just want to be happy, or more so content. Ever since I found radical feminism, I walk around with a critical eye and proceed with caution. I can’t unsee what I’ve learned to spot out. And with midwifery, practically a female-specific career, I will be actively helping females go through something that is specific to our bodies, and ours alone. No medical interventions, no sterile hospital room, no morgue six stories below the labor and ‘delivery’ floor (qouted because you can’t really deliver someone else’s baby, I don’t believe). I actually hate hospitals for childbrith. A place where people suffer, and oftentimes do not get better, is not the place to welcome life.

But I digress. I saw a room full of dudes and felt some type of way (see: frustrated). Made me want to blog.

Please excuse any typos.

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Cis- and trans-structure molecules got me thinking

I spent the entierty of my chemistry class having to hear the words cis and trans today. As a female born female, I am considered cis-priveleged. Because supposedly, I am at an advantage in which my sex matches my prescribed gender. This is said to be important despite the fact that ALL females are oppressed in ways males are not no matter what they look like on the outside or what their personal beliefs may be. There is no such thing as “cis” females having an advantage.

In terms of my chem class, those terms referred to whether or not hydrogen atoms were on the same or opposite sides of a double-bonded molecule. Yay science.

Anyways, for 50 minutes I had to look at the word cis, which is a term taken by trans and other people and placed on anyone who isn’t trans or, at least, queer.

I don’t see how changing one’s gender or sex is not putting someone at an advantage. Transsexuals are physically changing their bodies to fit into a certain and very stereotypical expression of the gender or sex of woman. Autogynephiles get off on switching genders (or sex) and are actually accepted into female spaces while they mock what we are ‘supposed’ to be. Transgenders just put on women’s clothing and claim to be women. They claim to be better women than we  real women are. Because they perform these set and oppressive gender roles forced upon us. I could only see a male-bodied person who rightfully says he is a man, wearing whatever he wants (like a skirt and heels) as being someone who is going against what the patriarchy has created. Just like the women who eschew the harmful gender roles placed onto us at birth. Trans people seem to be just trying to fit in by claiming that wearing makeup makes them a woman. Not a man who likes to wear makeup. No, they’ll never say that.

If men created these roles, of course they can perform them better.

My bedroom was pink and frilly before I had even been born in August 1995. Months before. As long as I could remember, I had family members give me Barbie dolls and Disney princess apparel. By age five my curly hair had been relaxed and straightened. I was put in ballet classes and cheerleading, although fun and athletic they are not taken seriosuly as female-dominated sports (and yes, dance is a sport!). It was never an option but to be anything but a “girly girl”. My mom and other female family members applauded and encouraged me to use makeup, wear uncomfortable, sparkly, and colorful clothing, do my hair on a regular basis, and eventually start taking an interest in boy. Male family members made it a point to tell me how “pretty” I was. One gay uncle would ask if I was wearing a bra or carrying a purse every time he saw me (still creeps me out to this day).

When I was little I did enjoy my dolls (I directed movies with them) and dress up clothes (my fav princess was Mulan, because duh), but there were many times when I would tell my mom “I just want to wear normal clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt amd tennis shoes.”

It was never an active choice to do these stereotypically girly or womanly things. I began shving because I became insecure about my body hair. I saw porn videos and read that bulllshit cosmo magazine for years during middle and high school. I heard other teenage girls bragging about how they went “fully bare” from the neck down and teenage boys insult the existence of female body hair. It wasn’t until I ignored all the external socialization that I ditched the gender roles given to me. It was the socialization that had me believing that I was just doing what girls do. The girlhood many females share.

I am not female because of these stereotypical and materialistic things. They do not define my womanhood and femaleness. These prescribed roles only prove my oppression.

I am definitely NOT privledged. It is my biological makeup that keeps me at a disadvantage. No matter how I dress myself or carry myself, I am still just a woman. No matter what I do, I am still just a woman. And I always will be. And that will always be used against me.

Those are not women (womyn/wimmin/female/xx). Just no.

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↑ From thecallofthewild.tumblr.com

Drag queens make a mockery of what it “means” to be a female who has been lucky enough to make it to adulthood (i.e. A woman). Hair and makeup do not define us. The roles forced upon us do not define us. They oppress us.

Females rarely make an active choice to wear makeup. Especially if the act of applying it has been encourage since a girl’s years as a toddler (my three yr old cousin wears eyeshadow. Why? Because even before she was born her parents had her room decked out in pink and princess books. We’re given these roles before we are born.)

I know that I had begun to wear makeup because I had acne and blemishes on my face, and it is unacceptable for a woman’s face to have flaws. I used to wear eyeliner because, at the time, I thought it made me edgy and cool. When really, there’s nothing super special about wasting time every morning to rub chemicals onto my face. Thankfully, I’m done wasting my time worrying about what people think about my face.

Supposedly, being a female means having long styled hair, wearing tight inconvenient clothing, and wearing stuff that clogs the pores on your face. And from the makeup comes the products to reverse the effects of makeup (ex. Proactiv). From the tight clothing comes the purchase of handbags to compensate for a lack of pockets (then it’s easier for your belongings to be stolen), more money spent. If you look at the popular hairstyles for females, they all look the same for every type of hair (straight, curly, frizzy, etc) and that look is exemplified by Victoria’s Secret models. Long, wavy, glossy. Srsly, that style is everywhere.

Men who dress as gender-conforming women aren’t doing anything revolutionary. Because they put on a skirt and call it womanhood.

But how fuckable a female may or may not be does not define her. To be a woman is to be a biological female XX who is out of adolescence, that’s it. Our similar (tragic) experiences add to what it means to be a woman in the midst of oppression. Our biological and societal realities add to what it means to be a woman. Those are realities that a man (no matter what he wears) has not  experienced.

And to any male who says guys have it hard too, that’s not because you are a man. It’s probably because life is and can be hard in general, not because men as a class are oppressed. Newsflash: they aren’t.

It’s not about you. Get over it.

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From tehbewilderness

Because when females deviate from the roles forced upon us, we face ridicule, rape, mansplaining, death, discrimination, slandering, blackmail, threats of violence, etc, etc, etc times a million. And it is these consequences (acts done by males) that prove all of our theories right to the hundreth power. Men hate us, whether we love them or not. They can’t imagine not having complete and total access to our bodies and energy.

Is it possible to perform the roles of being inferior, vulnerable, sexually available, or domestic because of genuine want? No. It’s a survival skill.

And don’t worry you special snowflakes out there, I’m not talking about you personally. I’m talking about males as a population. As a class. So don’t come on here on some bullshit about how happy your wife/girlfriend/whatever is. That changes nothing.