Say what?: Tumblr screencaps and how BDSM parallels with slavery

Oh tumblr, I always find the most interesting things on you.

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Sex-pozzies claim that BDSM is not abuse, because consent is the name of the game. Consent. Consent. And more consent. I am getting tired of that word. It’s being overused and misused as much as the words ‘bullying’ and ‘freedom of speech’.

I am currently taking a global connections class and we are on the topic of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. As we all know, the slaves were treated with cruelty and as lesser than animals just like females. They were tied up, chained, whipped, gagged, raped, impregnated, forced to work, and servants to the European masters and African kings for centuries.

Now, just look up at those pictures up there. The happy bdsm servants look like slaves. Depictions of slaves in the slavery times look like the submissives that participate (or are forced to participate) in bdsm. Most of those submissives are female (and I think most naturally imagine a woman to be the sex servant) and most dominants are male. Female dominants are a red herring to my argument, b-t-dubs. We all know men get off on playing the female role, they’re typically called autogynephiles.

How can you say that someone being obviously made to act as a slave is a legitimate part of healthy sexual relationships? I am in America as a result of slaves being traded for guns, alcohol, and tobacco. Being bound, spanked, gagged, and then fucked is not sexy. It’s not agreement, consent, or trust.

Men enjoy abusing us. I’ve seen it between my own parents. I’ve seen it in porn. At school. On tv. You name it.

The idea that abuse is sexy and good for women and girls is yet another male patriarchal reversal. Bdsm is just more visual proof of our role in life and proof of how men see us. We are fuckholes. Sex slaves. Destined to be dominated by a man.

It’s total bullshit. And it is so totally abuse.

Protecting Women ?

Here’s my comment on a female erotica writer’s blog. The blogger’s post in question is  called ” Unpacking The Baggage of History: Sex Work and the Myth of Protecting Women”

Me:

But isn’t the idea of a “happy hooker” not a myth as well? Prostitutes who don’t want to exit are in the minority.Also, *my* kind of feminism does not feel any sort of paternalism over prostitued people, and other kinds fully support legalization. I, however, do not. I’ve heard too many tesitmonies (straight from sex worker’s mouths) and read too many studies about how dangerous an industry it can be.But I didn’t come here to cause anything. Just my opinion.

Here is some of her post:

The phrase ‘sex trafficking’ is being used to encompass all sex work – including sex work by consenting adults with agency. It masks a very disturbing form of ‘gaslighting’ which argues that no ‘sane’ woman would agree to sex work. So all adult women who consentingly perform sex work are too brainwashed and victimized to know what they are consenting to. They have been, in fact, culturally relegated to the position of women who require the state to make decisions on their behalf because they can’t possible be freely making this decision on their own. This is as offensive and repressive as the laws and attitudes of the past in which women were thought intellectually incapable of voting or having say over their own reproductive functions.

Firstly, radfems know that feminists as a whole do not agree when it comes to sex work. Liberal feminists support sex work and find it empowering. This erotica writer, pseudonym initials RG, has lumped all feminists together when really I think she’s pointing at us. Radical feminists.

In my opinion, my comment is pretty watered down compared to the book one could write about this (and has already been written multiple times).

Now, I will mention that RG’e erotica is portrays rape, beastiality, torture, and bdsm aspects. Her approach is that she does not reach for arousal in readers, but contemplative thought. Many of her female characters crave piv and experience immemse pleasure from it (sometimes addictive), of which made it difficult for me to relate with them. I’ve read some of her books. Her writing is superb, but the subjects questionable.

But anyways, I would never want to insult any woman and say that she isn’t ‘sane’ for working in the sex industry. A lot of sex workers know. They know, okay? Ignoring their voices seems to be what sex-pozzies love to do.

The happy members of an oppressed population doesn’t make that population any less oppressed.

What others don’t understand is that radfems come from all walks of like, some having actually been a part of the sex industry. And the last thing I would do is ignore what they have to say.

Oh and, yes, I will admit. I would like to protect a fellow female if I could. What’s so wrong with that?

EDIT

Her reply to me earlier comment:

The myth of a happy hooker is about as much a myth as the happy factory worker or the happy floor cleaner. Would these people rather have better paying, more respected jobs? Yup.
Sex workers who don’t want to be sex workers should stop being sex workers. Period. And legalizing the industry will make it more likely that someone who feels coerced to do the job has some legal remedy. As an illegal industry, sex workers have no legal remedy at all.How does keeping an industry illegal make it safer? Certainly making it illegal doesn’t stop it. Sex work has been going on since the dawn of time, and it has usually been taboo or illegal within a society. How does maintaining that status quo make it safer?

She assumes that leaving the sex industry is easy.

Um, what?

No.

When you say that the want for an end to sex work hurts the choices of all those consenually involved, you are ignoring every woman’s (and sometimes man’s) testimonies of how harmful said ‘work’ is. Sex ‘work’ ruins people (read: women are people too), no matter how much you like to focus on the positives.

-_-    Just no.

PS: Does the idea of purchasing someone’s body parts for personal (and risky/dangerous) use not around totally disturbing? Seriously. Those consenual, happy, empowered, speshuuul people don’t make up for all that’s wrong with the mass sexual exploitation going on worldwide.

Like seriously. No.

Those are not women (womyn/wimmin/female/xx). Just no.

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↑ From thecallofthewild.tumblr.com

Drag queens make a mockery of what it “means” to be a female who has been lucky enough to make it to adulthood (i.e. A woman). Hair and makeup do not define us. The roles forced upon us do not define us. They oppress us.

Females rarely make an active choice to wear makeup. Especially if the act of applying it has been encourage since a girl’s years as a toddler (my three yr old cousin wears eyeshadow. Why? Because even before she was born her parents had her room decked out in pink and princess books. We’re given these roles before we are born.)

I know that I had begun to wear makeup because I had acne and blemishes on my face, and it is unacceptable for a woman’s face to have flaws. I used to wear eyeliner because, at the time, I thought it made me edgy and cool. When really, there’s nothing super special about wasting time every morning to rub chemicals onto my face. Thankfully, I’m done wasting my time worrying about what people think about my face.

Supposedly, being a female means having long styled hair, wearing tight inconvenient clothing, and wearing stuff that clogs the pores on your face. And from the makeup comes the products to reverse the effects of makeup (ex. Proactiv). From the tight clothing comes the purchase of handbags to compensate for a lack of pockets (then it’s easier for your belongings to be stolen), more money spent. If you look at the popular hairstyles for females, they all look the same for every type of hair (straight, curly, frizzy, etc) and that look is exemplified by Victoria’s Secret models. Long, wavy, glossy. Srsly, that style is everywhere.

Men who dress as gender-conforming women aren’t doing anything revolutionary. Because they put on a skirt and call it womanhood.

But how fuckable a female may or may not be does not define her. To be a woman is to be a biological female XX who is out of adolescence, that’s it. Our similar (tragic) experiences add to what it means to be a woman in the midst of oppression. Our biological and societal realities add to what it means to be a woman. Those are realities that a man (no matter what he wears) has not  experienced.

And to any male who says guys have it hard too, that’s not because you are a man. It’s probably because life is and can be hard in general, not because men as a class are oppressed. Newsflash: they aren’t.