No.

When you say that the want for an end to sex work hurts the choices of all those consenually involved, you are ignoring every woman’s (and sometimes man’s) testimonies of how harmful said ‘work’ is. Sex ‘work’ ruins people (read: women are people too), no matter how much you like to focus on the positives.

-_-    Just no.

PS: Does the idea of purchasing someone’s body parts for personal (and risky/dangerous) use not around totally disturbing? Seriously. Those consenual, happy, empowered, speshuuul people don’t make up for all that’s wrong with the mass sexual exploitation going on worldwide.

Like seriously. No.

Good News. Bad News (but still good).

There is a toxic, vampiric energy finally out of my house. Now it’s just me, my mom, and my little brother. I didn’t have much faith in the police officers who had come by laat week, but they did what they were supposed to do. Well, two of them didn’t seem to give a shit, and the head one had the look of oh no, another domestic dispute, but they got him out because his name isn’t on the lease. He had never payed for a full bill.

Thankfully, he is gone. The locks have been changed. His clothes will be packed.

I am so happy for my mom for being free. She’s been being going through abuse and pure hell for twenty-two years. With our two voices, we drove the energy eater out. He called crying and boo-hooing, apologizing, and begging. But he’s not coming back.

I can go back to school (two hours away) with at least a little more peace of mind after break, knowing that my mom and brother are safe.

It’s about time.

Yay, 2014.

Those are not women (womyn/wimmin/female/xx). Just no.

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↑ From thecallofthewild.tumblr.com

Drag queens make a mockery of what it “means” to be a female who has been lucky enough to make it to adulthood (i.e. A woman). Hair and makeup do not define us. The roles forced upon us do not define us. They oppress us.

Females rarely make an active choice to wear makeup. Especially if the act of applying it has been encourage since a girl’s years as a toddler (my three yr old cousin wears eyeshadow. Why? Because even before she was born her parents had her room decked out in pink and princess books. We’re given these roles before we are born.)

I know that I had begun to wear makeup because I had acne and blemishes on my face, and it is unacceptable for a woman’s face to have flaws. I used to wear eyeliner because, at the time, I thought it made me edgy and cool. When really, there’s nothing super special about wasting time every morning to rub chemicals onto my face. Thankfully, I’m done wasting my time worrying about what people think about my face.

Supposedly, being a female means having long styled hair, wearing tight inconvenient clothing, and wearing stuff that clogs the pores on your face. And from the makeup comes the products to reverse the effects of makeup (ex. Proactiv). From the tight clothing comes the purchase of handbags to compensate for a lack of pockets (then it’s easier for your belongings to be stolen), more money spent. If you look at the popular hairstyles for females, they all look the same for every type of hair (straight, curly, frizzy, etc) and that look is exemplified by Victoria’s Secret models. Long, wavy, glossy. Srsly, that style is everywhere.

Men who dress as gender-conforming women aren’t doing anything revolutionary. Because they put on a skirt and call it womanhood.

But how fuckable a female may or may not be does not define her. To be a woman is to be a biological female XX who is out of adolescence, that’s it. Our similar (tragic) experiences add to what it means to be a woman in the midst of oppression. Our biological and societal realities add to what it means to be a woman. Those are realities that a man (no matter what he wears) has not  experienced.

And to any male who says guys have it hard too, that’s not because you are a man. It’s probably because life is and can be hard in general, not because men as a class are oppressed. Newsflash: they aren’t.

QotD: “Men’s sexual freedom has depended, and still does to a large extent, upon their ownership of women’s bodies”

Anti-Porn Feminists

Men’s sexual freedom has depended, and still does to a large extent, upon their ownership of women’s bodies. Men have bought, sold and traded women as things to be used. Women are still regularly raped in marriage, even though most Western countries have now changed their laws to recognize that wives have a right not to be raped. Women are still bought and sold in marriage in many countries, and in the vast majority of countries of the world their bodies are still legally owned by their husbands. In prostitution and pornography, the mail-order bride business and reproductive surrogacy, the international trade in women is a burgeoning industry. Men’s ownership of women’s bodies has been the substrate on which their idea of sexual freedom was born and given its meaning. This is why it includes the right to buy access to women, men, and children as an important way of…

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Againstpornography.org: Women’s Testimonies

My heart breaks and my stomach churns. 

Women’s Testimonies 

“I am speaking for a group of women. We all live in Minneapolis and we all are former prostitutes. All of us feel very strongly about the relationship between pornography and prostitution. Many of us wanted to testify at this hearing but are unable because of the consequences of being identified as a former whore. This is absolutely incredible to me that prostitution is seen as a victimless activity… We have started to meet together to make sense of the abuse we have experienced in prostitution and how pornography endorses and legitimizes that abuse. These are some of our stories. The following has all happened to real women who are the exception because they have survived both pornography and prostitution… One of the very first commonalities we discovered as a group: we were all introduced to prostitution through pornography. There were no exceptions in our group, and we were all under eighteen… Pornography was our textbook. We learned the tricks of the trade by men exposing us to pornography and us trying to mimic what we saw… Before I go on — one might make the assumption that if a woman got involved with pornography and prostitution after she was eighteen, that she is a willing participant. And since the women I speak for were all underage when they began, it is easier to see them as victims. Personally, I feel this to be very dangerous. By talking to women who got involved with prostitution and pornography in their early twenties, the powerlessness and victimization they described and experienced is the same that younger women and children feel… One of us had the experience of being paid by a client to go to a house located in the 6th Ward. When she got there, she found a group of physically disabled men and a group of physically abled men. Everyone was watching pornographic films — movies of men fucking women, women doing oral sex on men, and women being penetrated by animals. The movies were played continuously… [T]he able-bodied men said they were going to show the handicapped men how “real men” do it. They forced the woman to enact simultaneously with the movie… Another story is, a woman met a man in a hotel room in the 5th Ward. When she got there she was tied up while sitting on a chair nude. She was gagged and left alone in the dark for what she believed to be an hour. The man returned with two other men. They burned her with cigarettes and attached nipple clips to her breasts. They had many S and M magazines with them and showed her many pictures of women appearing to consent, enjoy, and encourage this abuse. She was held for twelve hours, continously raped and beaten… Men would constantly want to do what they have seen in pornography. If pornography was not actually in the room with the client, there would be constant reference. One example is that a woman was in a room with two clients, one man told the other that he had seen some pictures of women who had shaved their pubic hair and that it had turned him on. They then proceeded with a jackknife to remove the woman’s pubic hairs, plucking and burning what the knife had missed. They made comments of how her hairless vagina reminded them of their young daughters’ genitals. They then, of course, engaged in intercourse… Women were forced constantly to enact specific scenes that men had witnessed in pornography. They would direct women to copy postures and poses of things they had seen in magazines and then they would take their own pictures of the women… It is very amazing to me what happens when a group of ex-prostitutes get together in one room and tell stories. One of the things we discovered was that the men we had serviced were very powerful men in this community. Especially interesting to us are the amounts of men involved in the media in this community that use prostitutes and pornography. These are the same men that perpetuate the myth that Minneapolis is a clean city with exceptional morals and a high quality of life… My wish is that you could see with my eyes just for a day how clear the relationship is between pornography and the systematic abuse of women… I would also like to say that I’m petrified and scared for young women today. I believe the pornography that is published today is more brutal and dangerous than when I was involved. And because I understand clearly the direct relationship between the material and the abuse of women, I am very terrified of the consequences of what that means… I also have a couple written testimonies of women who were not able to speak tonight for the reasons I already gave. [Reading first written testimony]: “I remember a house on Second Avenue South, near 22nd Street which I was asked to go to by a trick… It turned out to be the same house that my pimp had been urging me to go to where he told me young pretty girls could go and get tied up, beaten and burned with cigarettes, and earn $500 for a short half hour’s work. I had steadily refused to go, but when my pimp found out that I had been invited, so to speak, I had to go there… The woman who ran the place actually lived there with her children. She kept a room upstairs for the tricks to use. It had a projector to show porn films and there was stacks of pornographic material in the room. The tricks would go in there, look at the porn to get psyched up and then the girl would be sent into the room. The youngest girl I know about who went there was only 13… When I went into that room, the trick said that I was almost too old, but he was pleased with me because I looked young. He stripped me, tied me up, spread-eagled, on the bed so that I could not move and then began to caress me very gently. Then, when he thought that I was relaxed, he squeezed my nipple really hard. I did not react. He held up a porn magazine with a picture of a beaten woman and said, “I want you to look like that. I want you to hurt.” He then began beating me, and when I didn’t cry fast enough, he lit a cigarette and held it right above my breast for a long time before he burned me. I told him that as God was my witness, he had better kill me or untie me right now, because if he didn’t, I would turn him in to the police and that I would call his wife and tell his family about him. He believed me and let me go. But I know that this house continued to provide that service for those who could pay…” [Reading second written testimony]: “I was the main woman of a pimp who filmed sexual acts almost every night in our home. The dope man, who supplied us with cocaine for free in exchange for these arranged orgies, was a really freaky man who would do anything. They arranged to have women, who I assumed were forced to be there, have sex with dogs and filmed those acts. There were stacks of films all over the house, which my pimp used to blackmail people with… One morning I came downstairs in time to see a very young girl run naked out of the house. I found her friend, also naked, tied up in the closet. The one who ran away, after being forced to perform sexually all night, went to the police. I don’t know what my pimp did with the other girl. I do know that he kidnapped them and felt safe, because they were foreign and alone. The girl came back with the police, but nothing ever happened. My pimp continued to make films of people doing every kind of sex act in the living room of our home…” 

We (women) are not making this up. You can’t make this stuff up.